Abortion is often thought of as a female issue but all too often male opinion seems to be the dominating voice we hear. So how is the best way to talk to guys about it? After watching Stacey Dooley's 'Brainwashing Stacey: Anti-Abortion Camp', I spoke to my closest male friend about abortion. He's super easy to talk to about anything because he's completely supportive and thinks in a very similar way to me. He brought up some really important points. Including if people really are pro-life it's so hypocritical that they turn guns onto abortion clinics.
He also massively opposes the use of children in anti-abortion protests. In the documentary, American families were treating the camp as a family holiday- removing the ability of the child to form their own opinion on such a controversial issue. As my friend put it, they should "just go and sit in a caravan in Devon".
What we hate most are the pro-life signs that say "God sent you a child that could cure cancer but you aborted them." Our response is "Maybe God sent someone to cure cancer but she killed herself after being raped and not allowed an abortion." It's no secret that a fully grown female has fewer rights than a foetus in some states of America because there's a 50% the foetus could be male.
My partner in crime also pointed out that the majority of pro-life leaders are male and said that for some incomprehensible reason they can't really seem to grasp the concept. He seems to have managed it so why can't the majority of the others? I googled from a male perspective of how to help a female loved one through an abortion. Most of the pages that came up were how to 'gently' deter them from having an abortion, including making sure you only allow them to visit a pro-life doctor and to refer to the foetus as a 'baby' as it induces a stronger emotional connection.
However, it's really important not to tar all men with the same brush, there are good ones like my friend out there. Men carry out abortions every day, men are affected by abortion every day and men support women making the very difficult decision about termination every day. I personally feel that if a man can't respect a women's rights and decisions then he has no right to an opinion. However, if he is supportive like my friend then they really can be the best person to talk to.
Interestingly, I couldn't find any statistics on how many women turn to a male friend when considering an abortion, although I can hazard a guess that it would be quite a low percentage. This is likely because she may fear judgement, being steamrollered by a male opinion or being told what to do. But I can safely say that if I was deciding whether to have an abortion, he would probably be the person I would feel most comfortable turning to. Because friendship is always much stronger than a gender difference.
I would definitely recommend talking to friends of all genders about abortion as it is such an important and taboo topic, and knowing that you would support them no matter what could make a massive difference.
My friend concluded that people who can't respect the rights of women to have an abortion should "go and get in a bin". And I fully support him on that.
Have a beautiful day x
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